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November 2009 
What role does community play in your life?
Posted on Nov 7th, 2009
by 
barbara
barbara
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for November 07, 2009:
community makes me face myself every single day, and if I see someone suffering, then I know I need to go comfort myself; if I see someone in need, then I know I must go give to myself; if I see someone lost, then I know I need to go find myself; at the same time, if I see someone happy, I need to celebrate myself; if I see someone laughing, I need to clasp myself in joy; if I see someone lifted into the Spirit of One that we all are, I need only smile and wait for that means, I am next.
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“Community makes me face myself every single day” – Barbara, your opening words, followed by your explanation is exquisite. Thank you.
That's interesting Barbara, that seeing need in others reminds you to take care of yourself, because as women, we're conditioned to take care of others needs and be the self-sacrificing good creatures who deny ourselves the same tender care we wouldn't hesitate to give another. But that pop psych adage is true - if our own well is dry, how can we nourish others?
This is the ultimate dichotomy, Bethanie – if I see a need in others, and If I go to help that other take care of that need in themselves, then I am helping myself; that is what I meant when I said “if I see someone suffering, then I need to go comfort myself.” In comforting another, I am comforting myself, because that other person is me, too. If we all did this for each other, the well would never be dry, because then others would know that I am them, too. When I am in hurt, lonely, or in pain, others would see themselves in me and know that if they comfort me, come to keep me company, and give me warmth, they are (in essence) giving themselves that same gift, because I am them, too. That is the way the world is made. That is why there is, and always will be, enough. But how many times do we not go and give ourselves in the happiness? The wealth? The Joy? We limit ourselves to giving only in the misery. We look at another and say: “Oh, you are doing fine. I will leave you to your happiness.” Heck no. I'll romp right over there and say “let's go have some fun.”
Barbara - “In comforting another, I am comforting myself, because that other person is me, too.” The other night at the benefit program Joan Borysenko said that “Compassion (helping others) is one of the main ingredients in healing.”