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barbara
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November 2009 
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That's a very kind thing to say. I suppose most Gaians are naturally inclined to be caring people simply by being who they are. We care, therefore here we are. I looked and this caring person needed a hair brush, thanks for the reminder.
Barbara - Indeed, you are caring. And kind, and funny, and generous, and positive, uplifting, constructive and healing.
Okay, Sandi's comment prompted me go look in the mirror. I had my hair cut at 8:30 this morning. You can that my hair is short. But somehow the person who cuts my hair always manages to make me look like I have a gigantic beehive hairdo on top of my head. How does she do it?! I'm telling you, my hair is maybe 2 inches long, but it looks 9 inches high! And then tomorrow it's writing/pajama day which means it will be sticky-outy. Hopefully we won't have any UPS deliveries because I'll frighten the delivery person …
It is interesting that you both say that I am “kind.” I once had someone tell me (who does not really know me at all except superficially) that people mistake my kindness for weakness and in that sense they underestimate me so when I show my strengths, they are often surprised and many times, offended and angry at me, because they no longer see me as “kind.” I don't consider it being kind for me to tell the people of Gaia to look in the mirror to find the most caring person they know. If we see this grand caring in others, then we must recognize something of it in ourselves; therefore, it must be in us and we must look in the mirror, see it, own it, be it.
Hey, Barbara, how lovely a picture Laurie paints of herself. In her jammies with her sticky-outie hair, a smoking broom clutched in her hand, the UPS person collapsed on the doorstep in fright.
Well, what we admire in others is usually a trait that can be found in ourselves.
Barbara
You said “I don't consider it being kind for me to tell the people of Gaia to look in the mirror to find the most caring person they know.” Why do you consider that unkind? I think it's a fair statement. A person should take a deep look in the mirror every once in a while. It's a good way to take inventory – superficially and otherwise. If the inventory falls short, then we should take action steps to change it.
Sandi
Collapsed UPS person on doorstep aside (poor dear) … I think that what you said “What we admire in others is usually a trait that can be found in ourselves” is true. And on the flip side of that coin, what we despise in others is quite possibly what we are afraid resides somewhere in ourselves.
Laurie - You beat me to it, about the flip side. It's so easy for some people to remember the latter, and not the former. I also loved what you said about “If the inventory falls short, then we should take action steps to change it”. It all takes us back to your “What we don't change, we choose”.
barbara - loved what you said about kindness and strength, and how some folks can take offense when your strength is exhibited. Strength can be a beautiful thing to see unfold, and can live in harmony with kindness, that's for sure. Loved how you added the “see it, own it, be it”.
sandi - had to giggle at the hairbrush and collapsed UPS man and stickie-outie hair comments! Also loved it when you said “what we admire in others is usually a trait that can be found in ourselves”. Makes me want to consider taking some time to actually make a list … two columns … and see what it reveals. Then, take Laurie's advice, and plan some action steps.
Thanks for sharing, ladies. Always interesting around here.
Hey, Sandi, we get all sorts of pictures of Laurie all dressed up as I Dream of Jeannie or Glenda the Good Witch of the North … I really want a Sticky-Outie picture; I wonder if we can pay Len some money under the table to get us one …
Laurie – I don't consider my statement kind or unkind; for me, it is a simple matter of truth and fact; anything we recognize in another, we recognize only because we know it in ourselves – else how could we identify it? It keeps me off my high-horse when I start calling people names, or giving them unpleasant adjectives; how do I know someone is bitchy or mean or a gossip unless I have been that, too?
Hi, Nancy – welcome to the never-ending circle of inquiry and hairdo-overs – sometimes threads start here and never are found again …
Barbara - [remember that I'm speaking to you with sticky-outie hair, no shower and I haven't brushed my teeth – my three dogs think I look and smell amazing!] if you will kindly look in the third text box (balloon thing) down from the top you said, “I don't consider it being kind for me to tell the people of Gaia to look in the mirror to find the most caring person they know.” That's where I got the idea that you felt you were being unkind. But I definitely understand when you clarified [text box above this one] that it's a simple matter of truth and fact.
I've had one heck of a productive day writing on the topic of “grace.” I approached it from the “Moral Psychology field of study” point of view. Now my little pointed brain is cramped and I'm done writing for the night.
Laurie, I love you, I think you are the most amazing person, but are you going to Take a shower now? Sorry, I'm laughing in my elbow….
Barbara, this is what true concentration looks like.
It can never be said that the thread ends, it rolls on and on and on and astonishes even us. Sort of like knitting a sweater for an octopus with more than the usual number of arms.
I'm willing to slip Len a few, question is do we really want to know? I'm still trying to burn out of my mind the picture of them dancing around a fire in the backyard moonlight, waving sticks over their heads, and starkers to boot.
Sandi - Yes, I'm going to brush my teeth and take a shower before I get into my clean flannel sheets. I will even throw my “magic writing outfit” into the wash as well. So even though my hair will no longer be sticky-outie, I will have a pointy head from all of the think, think, thinking that I did today. But oh, what a productive day. I think it was all on-a-counta the intention you set for me this morning!
Now I'm off to shower … back after a while.