what a wonderful existential opportunity! everything is my responsibility and since everything is made from nothing, then nothing is my responsibility. all of this space is actually "empty" -- it is filled only with energy and our limited human perception only sees and knows about a very very very small portion of all that is. one need only look within oneself and be very still to recognize the honesty and truth of our existence. by agreement we came here. by agreement we create all this. and that is our responsibility: I agreed to be a part of this creation, so all that is, is my responsibility. knowing it is all transient and temporary, I can change creation at any time.

to be the best grandma EVER!

Being uncomfortable. Really. Uncomfortable. If I am uncomfortable, that means I am pushing the edges of my boundaries, reaching for my next growth spurt, and finding out all I don't know that I don't know.

I quit smoking 20 years ago and it was singularly the most significant change I have ever made in myself -- I set myself free in so many ways letting go of that addiction. Every once in a while, I dream that I am smoking again and I awake knowing that I need to examine some addictive habit in my life that is holding me prisoner.

I actually put myself into therapy 30 years ago with the intent to become like everyone else  -- believing that I could SOMEHOW become normal if I was like other people. I have failed miserably at that. I am still so oddly quirky and unreasonably unwilling to conform my thoughts and actions to follow the masses. It just doesn't fit . . .

That the best place to create anything is a place that is empty of everything.

Trust always is easy: I believe and know that I will take care of me no matter what else might be going on. I trust that others have the same option.

Of course -- else why would I be here?

Every moment beyond this one . . . and this one . . . and this one . . . (you get the idea) is unknown. There is only the eternal present. That said, because I have a past, a history, a body of knowledge of dealing with all the unknowns I have encountered, and I have successfully lived through those moments (as have you), I know that I have everything I need to deal with the unknown even if I don't know how I might deal with it right now.

There is an inner presence within me who is very, very wise. That "I" is smart enough to get out of my mind's way and let me learn the lessons I need to learn (although sometimes I do hear an "I told you so.") The tricky part for me is knowing when I am connected to that same wise inner presence within others. Too often I find that people respond to me from their minds or their egos or their unconscious selves and I have to think: if I am attracting this, then I must be so, too. My everyday intent is to bring my true presence to life, to stay connected with my eternal presence, and respond to all that is as my true presence -- knowing that I will not always be successful (I have had over 50 years of training in being someone I am not and being who othes want me to be -- I do that very well). There are many wise people here on Gaia whose true presence I connect with: Satya, sandi, Laurie, ohmsmom, mimi, debyemm, Meenakshi, Sukhavati, Tharlam, Siona . . . (just a few). I listen to them, my inner eternal presence resonates with them, and I want more of them in my life.

Nothing -- my presence requires that I answer this question instead: what does life expect from me? (see Viktor Frankl, "Man's Search for Meaning")

I feel as if I am in suspended animation . . . waiting for an indication of where I need to go next, what movement would be best for me to make that takes me in the direction my soul, my presence, my existence needs to fully be in this moment, and this moment, and this moment. My only desire is to remain present, eternally in the now, even as my mind and body deal with the past and prepare for the future.

Beauty just is and there is nothing to be taken from it. I can define what I perceive as beautiful whether it be sight, feeling, thinking, hearing, tasting, or otherwise encountering existence, and I am simply in the experience. What I want from the experience it not up to the beauty . . . it is up to me.

greatness means getting up everyday (even when one does not want to), greeting and responding to life with grace, kindness, and compassion (even when one does not want to), living each moment for what it is and being fully present (even when one does not want to), finding a reason for being alive and connecting with others (even when one does not want to), and being somebody's hero even in small seemingly insignificant ways. My granddaughter has not seen her mother in over two years, yet she lives each day with joy and the irrepressible abandonment of childhood. She is my hero.

At first, I wanted to answer this question with the answer that we are genetically programmed to be attracted to youth and strength as survival mechanisms; unfortunately, we take it to a societal level instead of acknowledging the attraction for what it is: hormones. But then, I reread the question: I am still very "young" in many aspects of my person, my spirit, my growth, and I always want to remain "young" in my desire for knowledge, my inquiry into existence -- I like the idea that there is still so much I do not know. My soul often feels old and weary especially when I have come across the repetitive stupidity of humans who refuse to learn from their past or transcend their petty temperments; but then, my soul has been around for eternity and will continue to be around forever, and I get the feeling sometimes it is just waiting for my presence to catch up enough to move on to the next realm of existence. My soul is very patient with the "youthfulness" of my presence who stares in awe and wonders at all that is and is often slow to get with the program.

Everything.*

*reserving the right to come back to this and clarify at the end of today's everything . . .

*yep -- I was right; everything happened. (note added 8/17/09)

As different as I am from anyone else and as similar as I am to anyone else.

As similar as I am to anyone else and as different as I am from anyone else.

The consequences. The being part is easy . . . it's those darn consequences and accountabilities that follow in my wake that make life not really hard . . . just . . . um . . . interesting?

Nobody does it better . . .

if I can ever even remember to turn off my monkey brain with its incessant chattering and needtobeheardatallcostsnomatterwhatanyoneelseissaying, in that fleeting moment of silent space where I have actually, thoughtfully, mindfully acquiesced my own self-serving importance, I might have been gifted with the true presence of another . . . that gift feels like the eternal presence.

I have three people in my life who have the gift of true listening. They listen for me with their analytical minds, feel my words with their hearts, and reflect who they hear I am back to me with loving acceptance. They have learned to create a space in themselves that includes me; within that space, I am learning how to listen for others. Being listened to and listening are connection.

One that has one of those funny squiggly half light bulb looking thingys at the end? I really tried to take this one seriously. I read everyone's responses . . . even noted the spammers advertising themselves under the guise of being members. Here's a real question: what is the meaning of life?

I have to thank Sukhavati for today's answer -- her response inspired mine. I love nature for its eternal presence and how nature manifests in material form -- which means you, me, all the animals, trees, insects, grains of sand and molecules of water. I love nature for its constancy and ability to renew and reinvent over and over and over timelessly and endlessly. That gives me hope for my own presence in nature -- I hope to always be renewed and reinvented. 

Everything new is created from all that has always existed . . . even the calcium in a newborn baby's bones is as ancient as stardust . . . I am called to that which is timeless